I Was Called a Disappointment Today

I was called a disappointment today.

I got my first tattoo at 30 and was called a disappointment.

When I was 12, I accidentally broke a window in my house. I do not like talking about it, it is a humorous story, but I hate the questions and never know how to answer them. I was left with scars across my arm, the biggest being on the side of my forearm. It is in the shape of a “C” about 3 by 2 inches (it was 4″ x 3″ initially).

The funny thing is that nobody seems to notice them. I don’t know how you CAN’T. As soon as they did notice them, the questions would start and my deception transpired.

Since I got my scars, my cousins always told me that they would give me a tattoo on my arm to cover up the scars. I never knew if they meant it in a way so I would feel better about them or if they were telling me I would be ugly with them and needed to get them covered. But one thing did stick with me, it would be a great spot for a tattoo.

Over the years I have wanted tattoos. I even designed a bunch. So when my 30th birthday was approaching, my wife decided she would gift me my first tattoo. I played around with the design and the placement, wanting to keep it hidden and only showing it off when I wanted. I decided on the design a few days before meeting up with a tattoo artist. I changed my placement and decided on the perfect spot a week later. Now, no one will look at my arm and potentially see my scars, now all they will see is my tattoo. Now when they ask me about my arm, I can give them whatever story I want without feeling nervous.

I got this tattoo for me. I got this tattoo because I wanted.

So, I got called a disappointment today. I was told it is not professional. I was told that I am filling my body with cancer causing chemicals. What I did not say was that cancer does not discriminate. Cancer occurs when it wants to and to whomever it wants to affect. Perfectly healthy people with no “cancer causing chemicals” have gotten cancer. (Why do we live in a world where everything “causes” cancer?)

Tattoos have been around for millennia. Professionals have tattoos. Nonprofessionals have tattoos. Tattoos are such a norm nowadays that nobody cares.

I was also asked what sort of example am I setting for my kids.

Two things. One, my wife had a visible tattoo way before our children were born. Two, I am showering my children with love and nurture. Me getting a tattoo does not impede on that. My children may or may not want a tattoo when they grow up. What does it matter? They are healthy, loved, and protected. A tattoo does not dictate the type of parent someone is. It does not dictate the type of person your child will grow up to be. It is a statement. It is an art piece. It is your choice as an individual.

I am 30 years old and was called a disappointment. It is the first time it has been said aloud, but not the first time it has been implied. It probably won’t be the last.

I do not care.

No matter what my children do and how much they may mess up in life, I will NEVER call them a disappointment. I will NEVER tell my nieces or nephews that they are disappointments. I will NEVER tell a friend, a neighbor, a stranger, or anyone else that they are a disappointment.


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