Hey Everyone! Happy Monday!
So, this entry is going to be HEAVY. It’s going to be a heavy subject and heavy with ideas and ramblings. Sorry in advance!
This entry came to me last night as I was laying on the couch enjoying life. My life has come a LONG way since I was a child. I have experienced things no child should and other things I wish my children will get to enjoy!
Like any parent, I wish to give my children the things I didn’t have and I wish to make their lives easier than mine was. I want to shield them from the evils of the world, and let them grow up to be happy children and amazing adults.
I want them to be privileged.
People that are privileged get a lot of negativity thrown at them, and I, for one, am not free of sin. I envied them for not going through what I did and I was jealous of them for their carefree lives. And that’s exactly what I want for my kids.
I grew up in an immigrant, low income neighborhood. By the age of 6 I had seen someone get beaten to a bloody pulp with bats and pipes and saw the looooonnnggg response time of the cops (I doubt that person survived). My clothes and shoes were old, secondhand, had holes, and were probably too big for me. There were days we wouldn’t eat until the afternoon. (Thankful for the free meals at school and park. Some days, that was the only food we had.) My parents violent seperation and subsequent events made me grow up faster than I should of. I went from being a clueless child (by this point, everything seemed like normal life) to realizing what was happening around me wasn’t normal. My mom suddenly became a single parent of 4 and had to work multiple jobs to support us. I was left taking care of myself (as I was the baby and my siblings were old enough to do their own thing.) I didn’t have many new or fancy toys, the ones I did have were either gifts from relatives at birthdays or ones we found in the garbage thrown out by their previous owners (think chewed up and decapited barbies.)
I grew up and flourished despite my environment and upbringing. I went on to receive my Bachelors from a prestigious catholic university and my Masters form an Ivy League!
So, maybe it wasn’t despite of my past, maybe it was BECAUSE of my past that I flourished. Maybe it was because I was always pushed to do better and be better, to remove myself from that negative environment. I told myself I would leave and be someone. I went out of state to school (talk about being submerged in an unknown territory full of privileged people.) I got to travel to Europe for a year! I have lived in multiple states and experienced things I never even imagined was possible.
So, how does my crazy life tie into a dirty house? I want my children to be children!! We play, we run, we have dance parties, we make believe our bedroom is a fort where we go to hide from ghosts, we try to make the worlds longest and craziest train tracks, we sit on the couch binge watching Disney movies and eating snacks! We are busy being happy, being carefree, and enjoying life. Momma doesn’t always get to clean. And that’s ok. When my baby tells me “Mommy, no clean, come play” you think I’m not going to play? I wish I was fortunate enough to have that when I was young. So what if my house is dirty? So what if I haven’t washed the dishes? So what if we forgot to put away the toys when we ran off into another room while chasing dragons and pretending to be Batman? My children are happy, my children are fed and clothed. They are fortunate enough to have all the food they want at whatever time they want it (please, don’t read into this.) I don’t remember whether the house was dirty or clean when I was growing up and my children won’t either.
Yes, we clean. We aren’t slobs people. But we also don’t have maids or other people to do the cleaning for us. My children are really good at cleaning (we just spent half and hour cleaning the balusters on our stairs,) but just as quickly as we clean, we can make a mess. I try to teach my children all the fundamentals so they can be responsible adults. They cook with me, they clean the house with me (K2 loves cleaning toilets,) they do laundry with me, shoot K1 knows how to load the dishwasher and add dishwasher soap. Yes, my house is messy, yes they have way too many toys (grandparents and family: hint, hint), yes I divert back to my roots and find toys that have been thrown out (that awesome Hummer power wheels is awesome 🙂 ) but that’s ok. My children are children and are happy!!
My children are growing up being privileged. They will hopefully never know hunger, they will always have clean clothes (momma is getting pretty good with the sewing machine,) they will have a two parent household, they will not have to know what it’s like to be 12 and have to work out of necessity.
But I will not baby my children, I will not sugarcoat life for them, but I will not strip them from their childhood. I will show them responsibilities. They want something they will have to work to get it. Want a car? Better get a job to pay for it, gas, and insurance. Need help? Sure, mommas will always help you out.
They will be privileged but they will also have to deal with grown up subjects before they are ready. They are after all a product of two moms. They are half Mexican and half while. They will inevitably have their own hardships that will help them grow. All we can hope for is that we do our best and make some badass people in the process.
Ok, that’s all. Thanks for stopping by and reading!
P.S. For those that read my evil eye post, I was able to hold the baby yesterday! So precious! Let’s hope the missus doesn’t read much into it 🙂